Two Girls One Problem: Nutella

Elissa (left) and Ellie (right) Photo by: Andy Sweet

Elissa (left) and Ellie (right) Photo by: Andy Sweet

Today, on Two Girls One Problem, we examine the serious issue of female’s restricting their diets because they are body conscious through the not-so-serious topic of Nutella. These days people are so harshly judged by their outside image, that holding back from enjoying the little things in life has become a hobby. Elissa and Ellie will be discussing their opinions on the chocolate hazelnut concoction that has people clearing the grocery store shelves.

[Enter Elissa stage left]

It’s an unusual concoction. Light brown in color, this condiment has every girl who’s PMSing swooning and it’s mom’s savior to getting her kid to eat some damn whole grain toast. It is said to have the heavenly aroma and taste of chocolate. It was even deemed healthy, till a woman took the company to court once she realized two spoon-fulls equaled about 200 calories and 21 grams of sugar. She won the case and anyone who bought a jar of between January 2008 and February 2012 can get a refund of their purchase, according to a report by ABC7.

This creamy brown spread I’m talking about is Nutella… and I REFUSE to try it.

I admit I am a plain Jane when it comes to food and damn proud of it. My diet includes salads that are completely dry, sandwiches consisting of only turkey, lettuce and pickles on it, French fries with no ketchup and waffles that aren’t smothered in syrup.

What can I say, I’m part of a weird condiment-free breed.

If there’s one thing I can say honestly is that this whole not-eating condiments and Nutella-thing stems from issues of being body conscious. Some may say I’m crazy, but this is the absolute truth. Since I can remember, I’ve always been self-conscious and the idea of being perfect is a goal.

Being a girl sucks when you’re mind is full of body conscious pressures.

I refuse to try Nutella because it’s extra calories that I definitely don’t need. This hazelnut spread isn’t essential to my life, despite what some Nutella fanatics say.

The bizarre thing is that I know if I try it, I will be addicted. It’ll be like my own personal supply of crack that can be found at every corner store imaginable. It would not end well – trust me.

My mindset is just cut it off before it even gets started. Don’t look at Nutella, don’t buy Nutella and I sure as hell won’t even try Nutella smothered on a piece of bread, on a pretzel or even a large spoon.

To some I sound like a really weird control freak who doesn’t like to go out of the norm but the truth is… that’s exactly who I am. I am also stubborn and headstrong and the more people tell me I have to try Nutella, the more I know I shouldn’t.

[Enter Ellie stage right]

On the other hand, guilty pleasures are my religion, and Nutella is my Jesus. Whenever I peruse around the market I always somehow find myself stumbling upon that stuff. Especially since recently they’ve cleverly paired the chocolaty goodness with bread sticks and have named it “Nutella to-go”, I can fit like 4 of those things in my purse. I mean I won’t, but I totally could, just saying.

I can’t help but indulge, maybe it’s a personal problem or maybe it’s just THAT FREAKING GOOD.

I actually find it laughable how many people love this stuff. The New York Times recently wrote an article about how students living on-campus at Columbia University have been caught stealing the stuff by the barrel out of the dining halls.

Well, duh, Nutella is expensive as hell and if you’re going to give it away for free you better have someone enforcing the single servings.

There is nothing wrong with indulging in guilty pleasures, especially when midterm stress is creeping up, as long as you understand two things: moderation and self-control.

And trust homie; if you’re spending almost six bucks a pop, we know you’re not going to eat that whole jar in one sitting. Try pairing it with strawberries, peanut butter, bananas, toast, bagels, crepes, hell anything goes with Nutella. Share it with your friends and have a grand old time, but be wary of roommates who might just come up on your stash when you aren’t looking.

Moral of the story: enjoy that sugar high today and take the stairs all day tomorrow.

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